HIIIIIIIIIII

wow so many miracles. i cant even explain all the amazing things that just happened. ill tell you in a couple weeks, i guess:)

ive been thinking what i want to say in my last couple of emails, and i have so many things i want to share. 

Something thats been on my mind recently, actually its been a reoccuring theme throughout my mission, is the word home. i remember in the mtc and early in the country i missed home a ton. i missed my moms homeade food, and soft clothes from the dryer and not wearing bug spray and cars and air conditioning and a real dresser. i missed speaking a language that i knew perfectly, i missed hugs from my dad and long drives with my siblings. 

after my training, as i started to understand this language, i met this investigator who i love with all my heart. and she has had the hardest life i could imagine. and there was this huge part of me that wanted to take her home with me. i wanted to be able to give her a family that supports and loves her, and good future, a good schooling. and i kept meeting these incredible Khmers that truly hold me heart. and every time they would open up to me i would just cry because i wish i could take them home with me and give them the love they have never received. 

what i realized as i continued to get to know these special investigators is that i was bringing home to them. that even though i could not automatically give them a happy family or a great job, i could give them love and knowledge and hope for the future. and i could give them a home-at the church, with god, as they pray, as they read the book of mormon. and as i have met with them, i have realized that my love for this country and this people is so deep. they hold a special part of my heart that i didnt even know existed. i have felt love from god i have never felt before. this country is a place that i will love forever, and it has become my home the last 18 months. 

now as i prepare to return home this next week, my heart feels like it is breaking. i dont know how i will leave these people and their faith and their sacrifice. i will miss the traffic and the garbage trucks and the humid air. but ive been thinking about our true home. our real home, with heavenly father. no matter where we are in the world-in cambodia or america or wherever, it will be ok. because god is with us. he walks with us no matter where we go. and one day, we all will return to him.

theres been a couple transfers i wanted to quit, that i was so sick of speaking khmer, that i was sure i couldnt handle another person telling me that all religions are good if they teach good. there were days when my comp wouldnt speak to me, and so i would speak to myself. there were so many times i couldnt understand a word someone was saying and i would just pretend to understand. but those were the times where i understood most the word home. not in the sense that i missed home, but in those moments, i could tell there was something greater that we were fighting for. were not just out here to help people improve their lives. were here to help people return home. "it takes courage to fight, when the battle seems long" 

and i will never say my mission, or this life, is easy. its long, and hard. but its happy. because this time is the time we have to get to know our real home.so i guess, dont give up when the battle seems long, when life gets real hard. remember your greater purpose, and keep striving to return to our real home. and we can look with happiness and excitement and contentment and reassurance and confidence to the future, to the journey we have to our home, with God. 

ill see you all real soon

love you tons

sis smith

also tons of pics from my siem riep trip!!